“a humble heart free of the desire of being esteemed”
Life is humbling. Life in Honduras is extremely humbling.
In my life in the states when it was hot, I turned on the air conditioning. When it was cold I turned on the heat. When it rained, advanced plumbing drained the water away. In Honduras the heat can suck all the energy out of even the most energetic people. Relative cold times leave many without means chilled and ill. Rain falls and sits until the sun dries it up or rivers find new space to wipe it away. Rivers care not if you require the use of a road in its path, you simply must wait.
Nature humbles me daily in Honduras.
In the states people think a lot about five year plans, retirement funds, degrees, and career goals. In Honduras people think a lot about getting food to feed their children lunch, finding work to support their family, and making sure their loved ones all have a roof to sleep under at night. The future and security blankets are still important, but todays needs are primary. I have never worried if there would be food on my plate or a roof over my head, ever. Despite this I find that I still worry far more about life than any Honduran I know.
The deep faith and present nature of Hondurans humbles my heart daily.
The children of the farm have all faced unimaginable circumstances, most before the age of seven. Yet they wake up every day with a sustained energy for living. They continue to walk along their life´s path incredibly managing to trust and love others in their own way, despite their pasts. Our teens live in a city of problems, where the odds are against them. Yet they wake every day and try their best to make an honest living of their life. Meanwhile I still struggle with trusting and loving fully, facing moments of hesitation daily; and my past does not even begin to approach what these children have faced.
The children and teens of the farm humble my heart daily.
Yet the finca prayer asks for more. The finca prayer asks for a more profound sense of humility. It asks God that beyond our humbling environment, neighbors, and finca family that we may have a heart so purely humble that we may be free of the mere desire of being esteemed. We ask to become humble instruments of God´s peace.
This is a truly profound prayer that goes against our very human nature. It calls us to focus on the divine, a call that we will struggle with throughout our entire lives. We are further called to find a peace within this struggle. As Thomas Merton says, we are called to believe that the simple desire to please God does indeed please him and that as humans we can do no more.
We therefore seek to please God every day at the farm through means of a humble heart in constant service to the amazing children of the farm, and committed to the intentions of the finca's prayer.
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