Epilogue

I realize my "last" post "An Adventure in Living and Loving" was not very informative of what I am up to now that I am stateside again.  She here is the epilogue to that poem:

“Epilogue”

On December 10, 2012 I returned to Virginia,

Sad to leave, while knowing it was time,

Welcomed by family,

I find refuge in my old bed,

Working at Catholic Charities now,

Hoping grad school meets me on the horizon,

Only God knows where the camino will take me from here.

Thank you once again for taking the time to follow my blog, and all your support.  Words cannot express my gratitude.  If you want to stay in touch or catch up please feel free to email me, it would be a pleasure!

Lastly, the finca continues on!  If you want to follow the blogs of the current volunteers please see the following links.  They are amazing people, and I am sure you will enjoy their stories!

Allison http://allisonandthefarm.blogspot.com/
Emily http://almademisionera.blogspot.com/
Erin Lucia http://erininhondurasamissionoflove.blogspot.com/
Erin Marina http://erinatthefarmofthechild.blogspot.com/
Kit http://www.kitcross.blogspot.com/
Kevin Keuhl http://1kuehlblog.blogspot.com/
Kevin Mader http://kevinatthefinca.blogspot.com/
Kiddissa http://kiddissa.wordpress.com/
Laura http://honduraslaura.blogspot.com/
Sara http://lovedwithoutlimits.blogspot.com/

An Adventure in Living and Loving

In an effort to write one last "post" about my time in Honduras I decided to take a nontraditional path, poetry.

During the end of January I went on retreat with 6 of my fellow returning volunteers in DC to process our re-entry into US society.  One day we were asked to share our experience in 20 minutes.  I decided to share my tale via a poem.  There are not enough words or paragraphs in the world to tell the whole tale of my time there (even after 100 posts on this blog, I feel my tale could go on for a 100 more, but I won't bore you anymore!), but this poem seems to carry the essence of my journey.  It also happens to share the name of my blog :)

I hope you enjoy, and welcome your comments/ questions/ and snaps...

“An Adventure in Living and Loving”

Four years past,

A call to serve burns inside,

Invitation offered,

A yes! in reply;

Finca del Niño,

11 interconnected homes on the Northern coast of Honduras,

Sharing two sites, one clinic, one bodega, one school, one chapel,

United by a single mission based in God’s great love,

Franciscan Sisters, Honduran Parents and Tías, a Venezuelan Director, and local employees,

Work together with the international volunteers,

To serve, care, and protect,

For our forty-five amazing children and teens;

Year one, serve as special education teacher, swim instructor, and ballet teacher,

Also then as substitute for all, middle school math teacher, special friend time three (plus),

Year two, move to Ceiba to become caretaker of teenage girls,

Starting a cookie business in the process;

Long days and struggles,

Are met with joyous moments of grace,

Magdalena’s school fits diminish,

As her confidence level and love for reading increase,

Marina, Nolvia, and Nelly’s eye rolling remains constant,

As Twilight, apple bread, and Maria Goretti bring us closer together,

The struggles never cease,

While the joys and graces never fail to inspire and fuel my heart,

A twenty-eight month adventure in living and loving,

In gratitude for God’s great love,

In gratitude for the opportunity to serve this mission,

Forever bonded in heart and prayer.

Finca Novena Part 10 of 10- A Pure Heart

This is the ninth and last of my reflections on the different lines of the finca prayer, a prayer we pray daily here at the farm. To see the idea behind this series of reflections please see this previous blog (http://mkatthefinca.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-finca-prayer-novena-part-1-of-10.html).

"a pure heart like Mary's which seeks to love and serve God alone"

Everyday we pray the finca prayer, and everyday we close our intentions praying for purity of heart, seeking simply to love and serve God in all that we do.  Everyday we strive for this purity of heart, and everyday we fail in some form.

This week, I was reminded not of failures, but rather of the abundant pure hearts that accompany us along our time at the farm.  Those of our children, our house parents, our volunteers, and our staff.  How we are constantly witness to amazing examples of pure incredible hearts all around us.

We witness Rony's joy to win the simple box game in a Spiderman coloring book.

We witness Jose Pator's joy to watch a video of his sister sending warm wishes on a tiny camera screen.

We witness Hildebrando's joy to share a hug with any person he knows is safe.

We witness Elena's joy to dance like a little bunny.

We witness Seidy's joy to dance like a magical fairy.

We witness Wilmer's joy to celebrate his birthday with all.

We witness Jonah's joy to win a game of uno.

We witness Allison's joy to turn the page on the calendar in the bathroom.

We witness Kimberly's joy to simply see Nils nearby.

We witness Luz's joy to color with Alisha.

We witness Cati's joy for every second she gets to spend with Jennie.

We witness Father Gilberto's joy to celebrate mass and pray the finca prayer.

This Thanksgiving Thursday, as we give thanks via a meal for sixty plus friends of the farm along with its residents (and pie for the kids), I give special thanks for all the amazing pure hearts that have shared in my time here at the farm.  For every last one I am eternally grateful.

Finca Novena Part 9 of 10- A Holy Heart

This is the eighth of my reflections on the different lines of the finca prayer, a prayer we pray daily here at the farm. To see the idea behind this series of reflections please see this previous blog (http://mkatthefinca.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-finca-prayer-novena-part-1-of-10.html).

"a holy heart whose only desire is that God may be known and loved by everyone"

A vibe.

A sense.

Un ambiente.

Many words for an indescribable notion in one's heart that something more is present in a situation.

The Farm of the Child has this.  A vibe that you walk along special sacred ground.   This is made possible by the many amazing people that have passed through the grounds.  Their amazing examples of hope and care leave indelible marks that touch one's heart.

This is not to say that one does not face many challenges, one will, daily; but rather that there is a deeper sense of Havel-eque hope and care that surrounds one at all times.  

This week I had the great pleasure of visiting one of the people I believe to be a true embodiment of this deep sacred feeling, Magdalena.  Magdalena is a girl who used to live on the farm.  She was my all star student for my first year in Honduras.  She has special needs academically and socially, and a heart of pure gold.  She was moved in July to a home in central Honduras where her growing needs will be better met as she continues to grow and mature.  

At her send-off party at the farm she asked me two things, to pray for her and to visit her.  I pray for her daily, and this week had the chance to visit her at last.  Our visit was magical.  She is doing incredibly well at her new home, and we were both over the moon simply to spend two days together.  Her joy for life and deep sense of care for all around her inspires one's heart on levels previously unknown.  

After making videos and cards for her siblings, watching "Babe", dancing, and playing soccer with her housemates and caretakers it was time to say good bye.  She gave me a hug and calmly asked me if I loved her.  I told her that I love her more than she could imagine.  She told me that she loved me too, and we went our separate ways, until we are able to meet again.

Every day at the farm we pray the finca prayer.  Magdalena lives the finca prayer.  Her holy heart, at the young age of 12 asked not for toys or clothes but for prayers and love.  Sure she loves sparkles and stickers, but in the moments that count, she asks for prayers and love.  

I pray daily for Magdalena, and that my heart may grow daily following her incredible example.

Finca Novena Part 8 of 10- A Prayerful Heart

This is the seventh of my reflections on the different lines of the finca prayer, a prayer we pray daily here at the farm. To see the idea behind this series of reflections please see this previous blog (http://mkatthefinca.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-finca-prayer-novena-part-1-of-10.html)

"a prayerful heart that loves to be in communion with you"

My current role, caretaker of the teenage girls.

My role next week, retired finca volunteer enjoying her last two weeks in Honduras.

My role next month, stateside former finca volunteer that supports the farm in prayer and spirit.

A pillar here at the farm is community, being present in communion with one's community.  I am currently a torn soul in this department.  

I want to enjoy every last second with my teens here in La Ceiba, as my heart breaks as I think of not being with them every day.

I want to be retired, as I recognize my tired nature, and the need for new energized people here in the city.  Recognizing Sara and David as amazing souls who will do great things here.  

I want to see my stateside family and friends again.  Not simply running around for two weeks having dinner, but truly being present to them as well.

I want all three, but I cannot have all three, I physically can only have one at a time.  This is heartbreaking.

The finca prayer saves the day again, for in prayer, I can be in true communion with all three.  In prayer my current weak nature is made strong and I am able to be present  and intentional with all three intentions.  What a glorious and merciful mystery.

Finca Novena Part 7 of 10- A Heart Full of Love

This is the sixth of my reflections on the different lines of the finca prayer, a prayer we pray daily here at the farm. To see the idea behind this series of reflections please see this previous blog (http://mkatthefinca.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-finca-prayer-novena-part-1-of-10.html).

"a heart full of love that finds happiness in suffering with others"

Caution, the finca prayer is not masochistic. It does not take pleasure in suffering, nor call us to do so.  This prayer has many parts, and all must be kept in mind while praying it.  

That said, it does call us to aim for a new level of joy.  It calls us to open our hearts so fully to the abundant love around us that even when we feel we are suffering we remain joyful due to the overflowing love that fills our hearts.

This may seem like a Nirvana like state that we will work towards always, never reaching its fulfillment in a world so full of issues, in a country so plagued by injustice.  This is an "adult" take on the intention.  This is the prayer of the farm of the CHILD, not the farm of adults.  Thinking of our children, this seems about spot on.

Watch Cati dance until her soul is content.

Watch Nolvia's face light up as she learns we are ordering Chinese for dinner.

Watch Marina's face as we watch "Twilight" and the way Edward helps renew her belief in love amidst the dramas of high school life.  

Watch Nelly's eyes light up when she gets to talk to her sisters in Mexico on skype.

Watch Arturo sing along to his nighttime ranchero music.

Watch Carlos' face light up as he tells you how his soccer game went.

Watch Rony gaze in awe at his high flying kite on a breezy day.

Here you will find children who have experienced pains beyond their years in joy filled nirvanas, for they are filled with love by these seemingly simple things in such an intense manner that whatever sufferings have passed, and whatever comes in the future no longer matters.  They, for a brief moment, see the grace that is present always with clear unclouded vision.  They allow their hearts to be so filled with love that joy reigns overall that comes their way.

We daily pray that we can also find a way to open our hearts so fully to the love around us, that joy will reign even during the most trying times, recognizing always the wisdom and beauty of our children's hearts.

Finca Novena Part 6 of 10- A Heart Poor in Spirit

This is the fifth of my reflections on the different lines of the finca prayer, a prayer we pray daily here at the farm. To see the idea behind this series of reflections please see this previous blog (http://mkatthefinca.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-finca-prayer-novena-part-1-of-10.html).

"a heart poor in spirit detached from the things of this world"

As I write this on October 27, I am officially nine days away from the arrival of Sara and David in La Ceiba (our replacements).  I am starting to mentally organize things for when I pack Sunday and start to live out of a suitcase for a bit.  I am starting to figure out what to leave, to whom, and what to keep.

I thought this would be hard looking ahead, packing to leave Honduras.  Packing is cake.  Packing is a physical motion and movement of stuff.

This week in the finca novena we are asked to reflect on being a person "poor in spirit, detached from the things of this world".  It is the spirits that form the finca family that are heartbreaking to leave.  It is the people in the farm family and their amazing spirits that I have become truly attached to.

I remain a big fan of my running sneakers, prescription sunglasses, and the occasional delicious iced coffee; so I am in no way claiming to be "detached to the things of this world".  I am saying rather that the children, house parents, volunteers, Franciscan sisters, and all who support and participate in the farm in whatever form have inspired me to see beyond the physical.  To see that while we face a physical reality daily, and will continue to face this the rest of our days, that if you take the time everyday to focus more on the spiritual, one's heart reaches a new level of peace.

These spirits have taught me so much, and have transformed my heart.  The thought of not seeing their incredible faces every day is what breaks my heart as our departure date from the farm looms closer and closer.

The finca prayer is not prayed to remind us of why our hearts ache, it is written to nourish and inspire us in our daily lives; and so it does.  For in the same way the amazing finca family has inspired me beyond comprehension, it has also taught me that while my physical reality is about to change, the spiritual connection remains.  The relationships formed remain.

I will continue to sincerely pray the finca prayer well beyond my time in Honduras, and the most beautiful thing is that my beloved finca family continues to pray this beautiful prayer as well.  It is precisely there, in the finca prayer, that our spirits will remain in communion with one another.