Finca Prayer Novena Part 5 of 10- A Peaceful Heart

This is the fourth of my reflections on the different lines of the finca prayer, a prayer we pray daily here at the farm. To see the idea behind this series of reflections please see this previous blog (http://mkatthefinca.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-finca-prayer-novena-part-1-of-10.html).

"a peaceful heart at peace with self and others"

Irrationally confused and frustrated, that is where I spent the first half of this week of the novena.  

I had visions of how I would close my time in La Ceiba.  They do not begin to approach my reality.  My picturesque, relaxed vision of fun nights with the girls and coffee with Janet and Shea is not my reality.  Rather these visions prove the minority of my time.  These moments carried me through the mind numbing paper work and once again depressing job search for the girls. 

Fate was kind and sent us Sor Chrristiam to watch the kids, while Nils and I attended the annual "orientation retreat" with the new and current volunteers.  I needed to get away and clear my head, so this could not have come at a better time.

As soon as I got outside the city and entered the finca, I instantly felt calmer.  As my special friend Brando, the cutest 10 year old alive, gave me a hug, all my worries and false expectations seemed to melt away.  Then as we revisited the pillars of the finca and reflected on retreat I realized that I really needed to start listening to this novena.  

"A peaceful heart at peace with self and others" was the intention of the week.  The intention was not "a heart frustrated with reality" or "a heart disappointed in what is left to do".  The intention was "a peaceful heart at peace with self and others".

I have prayed this every day for two years.  I have struggled with this every day internally for two years.  Over achievement and perfection calm me, accepting my limits does not.  Here in Honduras, my limits confront me daily.

After two years of being humbled daily, I am finally learning what it means to be at peace with self and others.  It means to accept where you and all those around you are each moment, to recognize that this is exactly where you are supposed to be, and to find joy and hope in all the amazing places you and others can go from there.

This does not mean we will not get lost or off path.  It means that we must find peace with our human nature, and try our best daily.  This acceptance must be for both ourselves and those around us.  This is not easy.  In fact I am sure it will challenge me always.

This is why the finca prayer is so amazing.  It calls us to recognize this reality daily and ask for God's help in the process, knowing that we cannot achieve this peace on our own.  What amazing wisdom and grace offered to us daily here at the farm.